This year, this hell of a year, is almost done. Whew! Don't get me wrong, we are always blessed and I have learned a lot, A LOT! along the way of it and I am not ready for it to be Christmas, but what I am looking for is a smoother ride in 2024.
After leaving my last full-time job in October, I stayed part-time at the resale shop getting the 28 hours a week that they capped us at and setting my eyes on the second lead position-which would have been full-time. I was jumping through all of their hoops to get it, while also being the team player and having the work ethic that I always have. I picked up everyone else's slack...like I always do...I came with a positive attitude.....like I always do...and it irritated the fuck out of the people around me who didn't work that way. Always hell bent on tearing people down, including myself, and after the year I've had, I just couldn't do it anymore. So I handed in my notice mid-November. Woodchuck has been happily working his ass off to cover tuition in the meantime. he truly enjoys having me home. I am enjoying this break, and am practicing being in the moment and not looking too far in advance. I don't have to figure my entire life out right now, and that is always a practice I need to be mindful of.
I bawled like a baby when I handed in my notice. I loved it there. I loved my job there. I adored the elderly volunteers (that I didn't even get to say goodbye to), but I refuse to be treated like shit anymore, by anyone, anywhere. No.more. And if that means I have to set someone straight in the grocery store, I will. If that means I have to let people go in my life, I have. And if that means that I have to stick to my boundaries with my family too, I am. No more feeling like shit because of how people treat or speak to me. I bawled like a baby for weeks after leaving the shop, but I knew to my very soul that it was the right thing to do. Not just for me and my spirit, but also because my mom and her husband are having health issues and with me being the closest one to them, I was going to need to step in and help out.
My mother has stage 3 lung cancer and two weeks into her three week radiation treatments (the chemo didn't work to get all of the cancer, so they switched gears to radiation and would pivot back to chemo after that) at the beginning of November, she fell at a store and fractured her humerus. Because of that, she had to cancel her last week of radiation. She told us she didn't want to do anymore treatments, especially chemo, because she was tired. She meets with her Oncologist this week (only after much poking and prodding from myself and my sister) to find out what her future holds now. My stepdad hadn't been feeling well for quite awhile, ended up having three heart blockages and they had to abort the stent procedure and schedule him for bypass surgery. They found out that he'd had a silent heart attack somewhere along the way this year. Neither are physically well, both are also mentally declining and refusing to sell their homes and go into assisted living. We have become that frustrating horror story I've always heard about.
Both are on the mend though in some ways. My stepdad has his post op this week and if released to drive, they are giving me the boot as their helper. They keeping saying how inconvenient it is for me, etc. and honestly, it's not. It's not the helping them out, it's their stubbornness that is the difficult part to deal with. Just do what you are supposed to be doing to get as healthy as possible, stop arguing and acting like a defiant five year old because you want to do what you've always done...that, BTW, has led to you having cancer, falling and breaking your arm, a heart attack, 3 blockages all over 70%, and a decline in the quality of life. But what the hell do the rest of us know.
Woodchuck also had a second surgery a week after I left my job (this one was not for his shoulder). It was already planned, and honestly was a year or more in the making, it just so happened that timing wise, everything fell into place. That further tells me that I made the right decision in leaving my job when I did. He came through that surgery with flying colors as always! The man is a beast, and such an inspiration to me to be strong and keep going. 💓
So the plan right now is that I stay home through the holidays to continue to focus on myself as well, and then start trying to get back out in the workforce after the first of the year. I am punching back at this year by finding my peace. I am spending this time right now taking care of my parents when they allow it, figuring out my arm, cleaning and organizing the house, and doing a lot of soul searching. Oh, update on the arm! Turns out I most likely have SIRVA (shoulder injury related to vaccination administration). While the worst of it happened this past Spring with the tetanus booster (I had a SEVERE all over the body reaction to it), there's a strong possibility that my left arm never healed right from surgery because of the Covid vaccines I got (I haven't gotten anymore beyond the initial ones I needed to continue to work in 2020). Because I am showing symptoms in the right arm as well, though on a MUCH lesser scale, it all makes sense now. The damage could be permanent, though the shoulder surgeon said it could take a year to see what will go away and what won't, and I will need it put in my medical file that I had such a severe reaction to an immunization.
I make this sound so easy, some pain, a visit to the surgeon, the possible SIRVA diagnosis. Of course not! Months of pain and other symptoms being bounced around in the medical field, see surgeon, surgeon sends me to spine specialist thinking that my neck is the cause of my arm issues, do images, go through weeks of physical therapy for neck and spine only as my arm and back get worse, follow up with spine specialist who says there's nothing wrong with my neck and spine and sends me back to the shoulder surgeon, all while I am still in excruciating pain. Shoulder surgeon says SIRVA and I am right back to square one helping myself.
So I am doing intense exercises at home to break through the pain and nerve and muscle dysfunction. Physical therapy exercises that I've been given along the way, Tai Chi, deep fascia rolling (OMG, that pain!!!!), meditation, extra protein each day, and I have even checked into hypnotherapy though I can't afford it right now with being out of work. I am also using the land as therapy. Of course, it always heals my spirit and makes me smile, but I am also doing specific things there to help my arm. And that leads me into the one of the biggest project updates!
We started the process of the forest thinning and tree girdling! After meeting with the forester on our land in November to show us how to determine what would get marked for girdling, tree identification (which has never been my strong suit), and what to expect in the next 4 to 5 years, we were on our own after about three hours of training! We really enjoyed our time with him and all of the knowledge he shared with us. I honestly thought, after the initial over the phone conversation about why we should thin the CRP, that I was going to be traumatized by what the forest will look like, by having to sacrifice beautiful trees, but once I really understood the purpose, and we got to it, I felt excited to see what the future forest will look like!
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Each tree that was to be girdled was sprayed with a ring of light blue spray paint. They do not provide the paint for us to keep, but did for these demonstration purposes. We were to cut about an inch into the bark of the tree, making two rings about 6-8 inches apart. Many things go into determining which trees will get girdled, but the goal is to have a predominantly hardwood forest over time, and then if we want to have that logged, we would move forward with that process. There would only be an opportunity for one logging in the lifetime we have left, but if our children want to take this over, they would see it at least twice. I don't care much for the idea of logging it, especially since the land is a bit farther back and landlocked in how to efficiently reach it with large equipment, but if Woodchuck wants a little return on his investment, that is his call to make. I'm just about seeing it native hardwoods!
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This is a great example of what we are trying to save! This little oak tree is having it's canopy dominated by the white pines surrounding it. You can just see around it the light blue spray paint rings of the trees we will girdle to open that canopy up above it and let it thrive! When it comes to girdling the white pines, we have to remove the dead branches first in order to make sure that we can easily and safely walk around the tree while using the chainsaw to cut. We can only do several trees in a trip because my arm gives out, and I get dizzy walking in circles around trees one after the other, lol.
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We run into situation like this where one tree (and in this case a hardwood (poplar)) has three growths coming up. Which one to keep? We always want the healthiest and straightest, and if possible, the tallest. Girth can also come into play, but when two are about the same, we use the other factors to decide. For secondary growths that are thin, we just cut those completely off with the chainsaw but at an angle. Straight cuts across would let water stand on the top and we don't want that because of rot that could then affect the part of the tree we want to keep.
On top of girdling, we also box bladed the fire break path on the watershed! What?! I know! Two major projects finished or started! Again, I thought I would be a bit distraught at the sight of the path, and the possibility that we were harming ground nests, etc. But I kept faith that what we were doing what was of the utmost importance to prevent future issues. We were not comfortable with the idea of a controlled burn, and moving around the watershed is.....quite the workout....with all of the vegetation. Getting where we needed to, even in the off season is a good cardio routine!
We started one day with the North fire break path and I was able to take out some invasives along the way!
We have found that even the deer like to walk the path of least resistance 😂
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This, folks, is what oriental/Asian bittersweet does to trees. I am still seeing it being used in seasonal decor which spreads its seeds far and wide. Please, I know the berries are a beautiful color, but they are deadly to our native tree species.
Yes, I know the color is beautiful, but these are one of many nope-berries! We must eradicate them from our ecosystem where they are not native.
This one has been growing for awhile!
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The thorns of the Autumn Olive are no joke and they will f- you up! Thick gloves/clothing, and eye protection is a must!
Thanks to the forester we downloaded the Avenza app with the map of our land and used that to box blade the West fire break path. This one is one of the hardest boundaries to eyeball due to so many trees and a longer length. Woodchuck manned the tractor while I went on foot from marker to marker, using the map that followed my movements, so he could follow my path. We were able to not take down any native trees!!!! Replaced worn out/broken/faded watershed preserve signs along the way, and reveling in the fact that we are taking care of such a beautiful place. I refrain when I can from saying "we own it". We are one with it, caretakers for it, keepers of the land. 💚
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An autumn olive on its way out!
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These signs need to be upgraded and this is the perfect time do it!
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Much better! Now metal instead of plastic, though purple would have been a better color IMO to stand out and also re-iterate the no trespassing, but these look nice! We put up at least 5 signs so far!
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We are making such a positive difference on the land!
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One of my favorite views is of all of the oaks on the watershed!
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And to look up at all of the beautiful skies while standing on it!
The next time we went out to the land, we walked the path, hanging up signage that we didn't get to before, and then went on the South border while following the Avenza app. The corner boundary of this side has continously been a pain in the ass to find, thick vegetation to push through to get there, and a marker that is shorter than most of the vegetation around and hard to see, as well as the boundary goes on a bit of an angle. But find it we did! Also noting some places that we need to work on clearing to make the boundary more defined and easier to see and access.
We found some honeysuckle that still had some berries on them (I missed my good window to really cut those off and black bag them so they didn't fall to the ground) and worked on those. I have to hit hard moving forward getting the honeysuckle out of the CRP that we are girdling right now, as the more open canopy and incoming sunlight will only help them to grow even more. 😒Our goals always seem to be the same there, don't they? Me fighting the invasives, Woodchuck on his tractor, lol. But all for the same end-goal and each of us working in areas of our strengths. We say daily how much we are looking forward to being out there full-time with each other. I have a feeling that something will be in the works with our kids being nearby too. At first when we bought the land, I was resistant to that idea, but now, a few years later, it's somewhat of a comforting idea. To have them near, to teach them how to care for the land and work it to where they can live from it while sustaining it. Who knows what the future holds!
While I am out of work, I am now easing back into the art after taking a few months away from it. I am working on what I want to work on with no thoughts of what might sell. Some gifts are in the works, some things I've started years ago, some things that are just for fun. I spend a lot of time in the kitchen now as well, being a good little kitchen witch.
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I am working on this ornament for Woodchuck for Yulemas. We used to make each other an ornament every year, but we are working so much that that has fallen to the wayside. Retirement is always in our sight nowadays and he even has his calendar marked with when that will happen! This ornament will be made with a premade wood cut-out, river birch paper (naturally felled to the ground as shown in the picture when I picked it up from the grass) that I've glued to the wooden piece, deer antler button that Woodchuck made me years ago for another project that I'll tie to the ornament, a tiny acorn I've picked up along the way(not pictured), and some other items. I'll try to remember to post a picture when it's done!
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I also utilized some blue spruce branches to make a cleaner. We were heartbroken to have to cut it down in the front CRP to clear the path for NIPSCO to run the lines to the pole barn. It has laid in the forest for months and I recently have seen where you can take pine needles and white vinegar, fill a jar and let it steep for a couple of weeks, strain, and then you have a natural cleaner. I do also want to utilize the branches in other ways too, but this was a start!
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Although I have left my job at the resale shop, I still adore some of the people I worked with and still consider them friends. I have stayed in touch with the elderly volunteers through cards, and recently made this dried orange slice fox for a friend that still works there. We've known each other since elementary school! This craft project is also all over the internet right now, and although my orange slices are slightly over-dehydrated and this ended up being much harder than I expected to have it actually look like a fox, I know she will adore it all the same.
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I also made this little crocheted gnome! I changed the beard to how I wanted it, because....honestly....I couldn't get the beard in the crochet pattern figured out! All cotton yarns on the body and hat, a little bell, and a moss covered mushie.
We are struggling to get our art seen, so if you could help us out we would greatly appreciate it! We know financial times are hard (man, do we know it!), so even if you could just help us get traffic to the Etsy shop, that would help to keep us on the map!
www.soapwoodartstudio.etsy.com
In case I don't make it back on here with updates before the new year, we wish you a Blessed Yulemas filled with wonder and magic! Do what lights you up and feeds your soul. Life is too short to do otherwise! )O( 💕
