We are now able to put a checkmark next to the latest big project on the list. It is done! We have a complete barn now. Exhale. Woodchuck hired the same crew that finished the framing and did the roofing to put the doors up. He has been better about admitting when it is the right time to hire someone else to do a project. But let's not talk about he took the flesh tip of his finger off chopping up fire wood. SMH.
We have been back a few times now to finish up the little things on the barn. To peel off the stupid plastic barrier on the trim that he thought we were supposed to leave on, to put the wood and stone under the doors to close up the gaps until we get concrete poured, to put the handles on the doors, and to finally park the tractor in its new home. What an amazing feeling of accomplishment!
We were lucky to have such mild weather this Fall to help us gain more time to work on these kinds of projects. We were also very lucky to have made more progress on the front ditch, cutting down and pulling out large trees, driving copper nails in to the stumps that were left from invasive plant species. I'm getting lots of practice on the tractor!
The ditch is now full of water, the pond completely refilled. There's a part of me that wishes we could have gotten even more done, but I know that we did a lot and have to remind myself that there will always be things to work on and it can't all be done at once.
With each trip out there I have left feasts for the wildlife! Those cute little pumpkins and squashes that are used for Fall decor were cracked open to expose the tasty insides that some animal seems to enjoy the taste of. The smell of fresh pumpkin and squash is intoxicating to myself as well! I also saved up some veggie scraps and scattered those between the shipping container and blueberry bushes. The crows have been going nuts when we show up, so I can only hope now they recognize us and have accepted us in to the magick of the land.
It is hard for me to focus on projects while out there at this time of year. The dying back of vegetation and thinning of what is impenetrable during warmer months captivates me. I stand still for what feels like hours, scanning visually and intently listening. Every chirp, caw, or twig snap catches my attention and I breathe in all of the amazing scents that comes with crisp, cool air. It's a whole other world at this time! Of course I love it too when it has snowed and I can look for all of the various tracks of animals, but even those distract me from the amazing and magickal world that Fall brings. There is something about tracks in mud that I find adorable, though finding them in glittering snow never disappoints me.
Our next immediate plan for the land? To start making our way out on to the watershed to start removing the invasives. I haven't decided yet if I want to go immediately to the watershed, or work our way to it starting with the the other side of the blueberry bushes and cleaning that out to make our way to the watershed pond. I kind of feel like that is a good option, and then we could cut the seed tops off of the phragmite in that area. But we'll decide closer to the time when we are ready to do that and dampness of the land will also make that decision. The next couple of Sundays will be busy with holiday stuff, so we likely won't start working on the land again until after the new year. I hate waiting that long!
We took a walk in to the first row of the second CRP yesterday, for Woodchuck to pick out a Yulemas tree for his breakroom. There's something so heart warming about a big, burly Neanderthal male finding a tiny little tree that he likes. We brought it home and he "planted" it in a pot while smoking a whole chicken for us to use for upcoming meals.
As far as regular life outside of the land, I am finding myself in complete burnout mode. I have spent weeks with every day, all day on the road. The all too familiar feeling of burnout and being overwhelmed slowly started creeping in and I didn't do anything fast enough to stave off hitting the brick wall. Trying to be there for family members who need help right now, working, going back into physical therapy, dealing with the holidays here, the land projects....I am meant for short-distance sprints, not long-distance cross-country. And so I find myself home today on my day off, in crying jags, seeing all of the things that I want to do but am already watching the hours tick off on the clock way too fast. I have also not been able to work on art and creations the way my spirit needs me to in order to stay balanced, and I feel like a wreck inside. I really miss having more time at home to create. But that doesn't pay the college tuition! I need to get better at the balance part.
My house is slowly coming back to better after always being neglected. Things are getting put away where they are meant to be, art ideas are swirling again, and I have finally forced myself to sit down and update you. I guess that means I'm feeding the balance recently and should feel good about that! But there's still that feeling of depletion that comes with this time of year. Of disappointment in people. Of dreaming of more magickal surroundings and situations than the basic sparkle I manage to create lately given the circumstances. Such a feeling of longing and a little bit of sadness. I think I just miss myself and Peace. I've never been one for the rat race and hustle and bustle of the holidays. Only I can control that for myself. Only I can make better decisions for myself and well-being.
I hope for you to have peace and well-being as well. Happiness, contentment, and no guilt for pulling back when you need to. I don't know about you, but I'm looking forward to hugging a tree. I miss my woods. 💚🌲
