This month is all about magick for me. With May being so brutal, and beating down and out what doesn't serve me well anymore (even when getting rid of that stuff was not necessarily facilitated by me, but by the Universe), June has been all about feeding magick and healing and prophecy and purpose and personal power.
First on the docket was getting a box put together of items that I was donating to a silent auction. Nearly everything in the box was fox themed, or otherwise wildlife. It was going to Save a Fox and I just tried tracking the package this morning and once again am having issues with the post office. I really, really hope that package made it ok, especially with the high heat we've had. I would hate for the sinew on these to get sticky and mushy. I have contacted my local postmaster, but may need to contact the fox organization themselves to make sure that they got it. Cross your fingers! (UPDATE: postmaster tracked it and told me it was delivered!)
Then developed more on the same leg but different area. They continued to get more red and bigger in size, but this is how they started.
Things always get worse before they get better, right? About a week after this picture was taken, the bumps are almost completely gone, but the reaction to the band-aid still remains. 😂
The full moon this month was the Blue Moon. I couldn't sleep leading up to it, and anytime I woke up in the middle of the night or early morning, I felt the need to go look!
All of the flora and fauna are brilliant in life cycles and colors right now! These four o' clocks came back again this year and are as tall in some spots as four to five foot!
And it is rummage sale season! I rarely hit those anymore, but there was an estate sale just minutes from me and the description of the items was right up my alley. So a friend and I went together and had a great time! I spent WAY more than I intended to, but I got so many wonderful things, that honestly, some of which are priceless to me. So many beads, bones, shells, etc.!
My oldest son recently stopped by and brought a DVD with him for us to watch. Man, that brought back good memories, and it's rare anymore that I laugh while watching something the way I laughed while watching this!
While pulling into my driveway one day, I noticed a purple plant alongside the railroad tracks. I walked over to investigate, wondering if it was something I would want to transplant, and nope. Looks like Hairy Vetch, though I do need to verify that in all of my free time (HA!). I need to get over there and pull it if I find out it is that one, because it's highly invasive.
On a recent trip to the land, I continue to pull non-natives/invasives, such as the ox-eye daisy. I am averaging about two contractor bags full of stuff each time I can work on that. Right now, I am finding a lot of cocoons on plants.
And harvestman arachnids are EVERYWHERE! Did I ever tell you about them, and Louisiana? I was always a fearless child, and always outside. We spent a bit of time living in Louisiana when I was pre-k/k age. Although it seems like we didn't live there for very long, the memories for me are like yesterday. There was a car port attached to the little brick house, and my brother and I would play there some times, especially if it was storming, but we wanted to be outside. I remember PILES of daddy long leg spiders, and them crawling up the brickwork of the house under that car port and how I was fascinated with them and not afraid to gently handle them. I mean, if there was ever an indication of what I would love as an adult, based off of what I loved as a child, this would be it!
I was so happy to see a lot of clasping bellflower all over the area where we will be building. I asked Woodchuck to hold off mowing that spot again until they were done blooming. I don't know if the pollinators like them, I honestly see them on the clover more than anything else, but why not let these bloom and potentially go to seed? Each leaf down the stem will get a bloom. Fun fact: purple is my birth month color, but not my favorite color!
Because we have no garbage pick up yet at the land, we are just piling the garbage up until we get a dumpster for construction waste when the house is delivered. I don't like doing this, but it's a temporary thing. Somehow, I picked up some jumping spiders along the way! Most likely, they were on the plants that I pulled. This amazing one is a Dimorphic Jumping Spider.
Awwww, it's looking at me. 😀
I continue to run across tiny, baby toads everywhere on the land. The front forest, paths, grass.....everywhere!
Here at home, I pushed to get more staining done on the deck because we had several days of rain in the forecast. I definitely pushed myself on this day, and Woodchuck came home from work in a bad mood and was less than appreciative of the work I did. But that's okay! I don't need his approval, or high five! This girl is on fire and getting shit done for HERSELF first and foremost. (P.S. my cat LOVES this view now! Each day she will stand at the door and meow for me to open the door, pick her up, and we stand there for a bit and watch the birds and cars go by. 😍)
Once I got the upper deck flooring done, I moved down to the ground level and started the cedar shingles, and was hoping to get the 3 inches of floorboard that extend out past the railing. I was unable to reach it though, only able to do the end of the boards, and will need to go back up on the deck to reach through the railing to finish them. In this picture, you can see the right side shingles are newly stained compared to the worn color of the left.
It was at about the halfway mark to the right of this area that I started getting a bit dizzy on the ladder from the heat. I think too that it made me more nervous to be over concrete on this part as opposed to the grass on the other part. I held on with one hand and stained with the other and got the front part finished. I have no idea how I will do the outer part of the railings....maybe take them down? I'll figure it out! Or maybe not do them at all! I'm not pressuring myself about it.
We have strong storms moving in often, and there was a portal day on 6/6. On 6/5, I felt the need to send a prayer to The Creator for our youngest son. May our love find its way into his heart. 💗
As I prepared for my next, and so far final show, there were some items that needed sprucing up. Winds at outdoor markets, sunlight, heat, packing and unpacking, can some times take its toll on items. And then there are items that I look at now and see a different vision for them than when I first made them. Like this little jar that has been re-vamped three times now. I am loving this version of it, but this isn't quite finished yet.
My oldest son and I had a wonderful day together at the show I signed up for, where the theme was eco-friendly and repurposed and sustainability. This was the first year for it, and it was small, but it was so nice being around like-minded people! Plus, the campus is GORGEOUS. I always feel so at peace there and so held in a way that it makes me want to cry in a good way. Once we got set up for the event, we walked around for a bit. The event was moved inside because of rain earlier that morning and then a lot of humidity that followed. We were so grateful for the air conditioning!
This is the main building on campus, the Motherhouse, but not the one that we were going to be in for the event.
So much native milkweed!
While waiting for my son to come out of the bathroom, I saw a cardinal friend 💖
And a LOT of ferns! 😍
SWOON!!! A close-up of the main building.
Clouds are moving back in, but the rain holds off until the end of the event!
We found the labyrinth, which I am slightly embarrassed to say that it triggered my vertigo just looking at it! So I didn't walk it.
This would be something kind of neat to have at the land, and you would think with 15 acres, I would have room for one--but nope!
The lake was beautiful, and there was a nice breeze coming off of it!
Everything here feels so intentional, purposeful, and peaceful.
While my son said good-bye again to everyone, I appreciated the landscape. Some foxglove beardtongue, a native wildflower.
I am about to say something that gets me judged a lot. That's ok. I know what it looks like, but not everyone needs the backstory. I go to my oldest sons house twice a year to weed. It needs it more often than that, but I wait months to give him more than enough opportunity to get out there and do it himself. He doesn't like to weed, never did here at our house when asked to help with yard work when he was growing up, and definitely not at his house. My attempts to find a small town handyman that can also help with stuff like this, continue to fail. So, twice a year I step in to help. I always try to save as many of the natives as I can, but some times I can't tell what is what. He recently told me that he prefers to hand-pull weeds over weed-whacking, and I laughed and laughed, because as you can see, he doesn't hand-pull them either.
It looks better at least.
We also recently made a trip up to Michigan City again so that I could stop at the antique market and pick up the witch's ball they found for me. At this point, I could be over-paying for them. There is no way to tell what is coming from TEMU and has been circulating around, but the people at this business are fantastic and I want to support them. I am hoping to hang one from each window at the new house. It will 1) provide color and shine 2) hopefully prevent bird strikes 3) capture any bad stuff wanting to come in
This is the first one I bought, back when I worked at the resale shop.
While we were up there, my son asked if we could stop at his favorite store at the Lighthouse Mall Outlets because he was told it was going to be closing soon. The mall isn't what it once was, but there were more people there than I expected and I loved seeing that! It was the perfect day to be out walking around, and taking in the sights of nature as well. This Mourning Dove looked all kinds of tucked in and comfy.
And you know your girl was going to track down some incense!
I also got this beautiful star that reminds me of Home.
I guess "play time" is over, and it is time to head back to the land. The amount of rain we are getting is really slowing down my work out there! I have SO many invasives that I need to pull before they go to seed. But the rain continues to nourish other things, like all of these baby toads that have traveled far away from the flood water now, and some have made into the forests! My toad capturing skills are rusty and they are super fast. I managed to talk this one into a quick photo.
And managed this quick shot of another before it hopped off. They are tiny, about the size now of my inky finger from the tip of the nail to the first knuckle in the fingertip.
The black widow has gone back down into her hole now that Woodchuck is done weed-whacking. The web that she left behind now has a golden orb weaver on it.
And the slugs are out in full force, lots of them being found where the overhead garage doors meet the concrete. I moved it to the edge of the forest.
Since I am busy pulling ox-eye daisy, I thought it would be a good time to show you the difference between it, and our native fleabane. Both come up at the same time, but they look completely different. For newbies though, everything can look the same! Trust me, I am still learning about so much!
Native fleabane. The petals are frilly and thin, and the flower heads themselves are also very small. They also smell so good! Sweet, like candy.
Elongated leaves, smooth edges but with little hairs towards the bottom of the leaf and into the main stem. One flowers per stem (at least that I have seen!) They can be white or even a lovely very pale lavender color!
The ox-eye daisy heads are MUCH larger, with the typical smooth and elongated petals around a large yellow center. They stink too!
The elongated leaves are spikey, or serrated, depending on what word you like, and thinner than a fleabane.
Back in my preferred office.
There are so many invasives all around me, and I am so overwhelmed. I know it's not the right time to cut and treat without the knowing that they will resprout and I will need to circle back again this Fall, but it is hard not wanting to rip it all out now and be confident that it would be a one and done. Never that. It has all exploded so much at this time of year, you can't even access the path anymore. We had this cleaned up at one point, but it was only the first cleaning. Many more to come! Most of the bad stuff you see here is Autumn Olive, mixed with a little multi-flora rose.
And there's that perfect Charlie Brown Christmas tree.
And more clouds!
I make my way back in to the barn, and glanced at the truck. Not only is the motor locked up and in need of replacement.....but Bruce also has a flat tire. Damn, Bruce! We were on your way out when we bought you, or are you sad about us being your new owners?
While I refrain now from taking food scraps to the land the way I used to, everyone enjoys a nice juicy watermelon in the Summer! It's just the rind with a bit of flesh still left on it. Once we have chickens at the land, they will be the recipients of what the compost doesn't get!
New house update: all papers have been signed with the bank for the construction loan and it's headed into the next phase. We got a quote for homeowners insurance and there were LOTS of mistakes on the documents, so we need to contact them on the next business day to have that all corrected before we receive a final draft and send that to the bank. Estimate is still July to start breaking ground, and potentially July or August to move. If you would like to donate money towards our dream, the paypal address can be found on my intro. Please note that donating money to our land projects does not give you any leverage to have any say-so in how we use that money at the land.
We have had CRAZY, intense storms lately. A storm last week was confirmed so far to have spawned 21 tornadoes and at least one of them came VERY close to our town that we currently live in. A couple of more days of storms followed, but the tornadoes were in the Southern part of the state. We do have another several days of rain in the forecast ahead, so I need to get some outside stuff done today like mow...pull weeds.....paint....there are still days that I think about all of the energy and time I exert without getting a paycheck, because I AM working full-time and then some at home; but the difference is now I can also enjoy the fruits of my labor full-time as well! I have a strong sense of pride in the things that I surround myself with and how I take care of them (or try to). At a recent therapy session, I brought up about how I want to explore at next weeks session WHY I work the way that I do. WHY do I cram so much into one day? WHY do I stay so busy? WHY do I push myself so hard? I know there will be more than one answer to that. And on the drive home, it hit me that at least part of what I am doing is "trauma prepping". I'm sure it has some other name, technical term, etc., but what I am doing is trying to prep for the next emergency, the next bomb that falls in my lap, trying to calm down my nervous system and show it that everything is ok and under control.
I also had the thought that I am efficient. Super efficient. I remember I was working drive-thru at a fast food place after I graduated high school and the owners came in one day to observe, meet with managers, etc., and they watched me handle the window. They turned to the manager and said, "THAT girl is efficient! Utilize that!" I love a good flow. I love when things run smoothly and my time isn't wasted. I have a lot of irritations in life, only a handful or so of pet peeves. One pet peeve is my time being wasted. My time and energy is precious, and I prefer to use it well. Even Woodchuck has been on the receiving end of my harshness when he wastes my time.
But in every area of my life, being efficient gets me used and taken advantage of. Little by little, the people around me slack off a bit more because they know I will take care of it. And I don't want to, of course! I don't enjoy having to do E-V-E-R-Ything! I just naturally see something that needs to be done, I give people around me ample time to do it themselves--some times I even remind them several times over a course of weeks or months--and there it sits. So I do it. Then once I do it, it seems to become automatically mine for all time to do.
I see videos on FB where these women go out and rescue cats and dogs, and some times wild animals, and a commentor will say, "I am telling you! A middle-age white woman has no fear and WILL get shit done!" I think women of any color, and any age, can be fierce and efficient. I think that speaks volumes to who we surround ourselves with in relationships growing up and as adults, the kind of relationships we were raised in and around, and the kind of relationships we are looking for along the way and now. My soul longs for connection. A tribe, a village, a team, a partnership so deep and committed and natural that my efficiency for having things run smoothly finally carries over into that area of my life. I also long for time to not be wasted or for me to be taken advantage of. But here I am daydreaming when my to-do list is as long as my forearm. With the storms out of the area for now, my hips don't feel like they are breaking. I am grateful for every day that I get a new chance to heal. Thank you for being here on this journey! )O(
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