The beginning of the new chapter

Back in September, I spent weeks typing up this post....hit numerous buttons at the same time on accident, and every bit of it was erased, except for the title. I haven't had it in me to start it over again, until now, though I may leave out a lot of things that I had in before. So much is going on to update in  future posts, I don't know that I want to spend the same amount of time on this one that I did before.

We got the Nipsco path at the land marked by 811. There was questions about where the electric line had been buried previously, center of that path or to the side, and that would determine how burying the gas line would be approached. 

As it turns out, the electric line was buried center of the path, not giving any thought to future utilities that would need to also go there. I wasn't around for the full conversation between Woodchuck and the NIPSCO guy, but there was a plan in place if this worse case scenario came about. I alternate listening without looking too obvious about it, and zeroing in on nature and wandering around.

I am on my way to pick up the garbage that the 811 employee threw on my driveway, and realize just how many spiders are at the land, including the garage which is filled with American House Spiders and their broods. Spiders are EVERYWHERE at the land, inside and out.

We have also been visited by another kitty that looks a lot like the previous one that used to come around before the previous neighbors moved. I named that original one Shadow McGee because he was so quiet you would never know he was there until he wanted you to know. He would walk the land with us, dropping at our feet along the way and rolling around in glee in the dirt and leaves. Cat after my own heart. This cat also is very quiet, appearing and disappearing in the blink of an eye.

We are here to put together the Bilko doors, and I must say that I am highly frustrated at the high amount of money we pay for things that are wrapped so poorly from the manufacturer that they are then dented and scratched up before even leaving the store. I spend money on something, especially several hundreds of dollars, it better look pristine coming out of the packing! Much grumbling between us, and a location move to the grass to minimize more damage was done, but we got them put together and are now spending every trip back to the land trying not to trip over the pallet. In time, in time.

I found this fantastic, velvety mushroom on the edge of the front forest on our way out!

It took a few trips to work on a patch of invasives that were hiding some very small, and very adorable Juniper trees. So I began delicately removing all of the bad stuff, while appreciating the view, and as always the bad stuff fought back.

Woodchuck mowed with his tractor, and I could see him across the pond. 

Even though the sun is hot, we have been blessed with low humidity and gorgeous days!

On our next trip back, I forgot my long sleeves again and didn't want to play with the thorns, so I improvised! I used some gators as sleeves, knotted them at the top and bottom, and even though the polyester catches thorns easily, it was just enough of a barrier to save my skin.

There was much to be seen again while I stepped gently and deliberately around the good stuff. Thankfully I saw this cricket in time!

A walk before saying farewell again. Blue cardinal flowers.

A Western Honeybee enjoying some goldenrod.

The watershed in all of its glory, with tall native grasses and oak trees.

You never need to know where you are going out here. All paths lead to beautiful places.

And it even has its own Yellow Non-Brick Road!

I made sure to pull some trail cam cards while I was there so I could check those out at home! Just the usual visitors to such an enchanted place 😍

I am continually gifted with treasures from Mother E!

Some things I would rather not be gifted though. I am honored, but it breaks my heart. Like this deer carcass I found in our pond. But I must honor the life of this lovely lady, remove her from the water, lay her to rest in some tall grass, and let her sustain other animals. Please do notice the frog sitting on her back. 😳

Woodchuck had to pull her out by hand, and luckily she was right at the shore. She was too heavy to drag to where we wanted to lay her to rest, so we had to use the tractor to move her. 

And that meant I had to get up close and left her head and rear into the bucket. Run  free, dear one. 😭

With that done, it makes you wonder what all is laying at the bottom of the pond 😕

Maybe Mr. Wooly Bear can tell me? No, he just says to enjoy the long Fall this year, and a mild Winter is a possibility.

Time to put everything away and head home. I see the Hops came back healthy and full. I did not have time to harvest them this year, and this ditch will be getting a contractor clean out soon, so I don't know that they will come back anyway. I still have the ones I harvested from last year and haven't used a single one. 

I have been TRYING to do more fun things, and I know that I am failing that more than succeeding, but there have been some glimmers along the way. A friend sent me the pattern for these macrame' skeletons and I had all of the supplies. Unfortunately, my paint is packed away somewhere and the permanent markers bled in the cheap wood beads for the faces, so I will need to wait to make more when I have my paints accessible.

I also bought a suitcase while out thrifting! What better way to manifest traveling some day than to buy a suitcase?! I love the pale lavender color! The zipper is very difficult though, so that will take some getting used to.

Woodchuck and I are also going to a comedy show (that is tomorrow night), though I originally brought up going to see one next month that I wanted to see. The one we bought tickets for is one that he wants to see. I actually don't even want to go, but I know that I should get out and do things and not just work, work, work. But my anxiety is high, and my stomach is upset thinking about being that far from home. Woodchucks eyesight makes it where I am doing nearly everything, and we are down to just my car right now since his recently broke down. My brain instantly starts going to the "what if" scenarios. I will do my best to try and enjoy myself though!

We are having an amazing Autumn where we are at, and man, it feels long overdue! Autumn is one of my favorite times of year, and provided some of the best days of being outside when I was growing up! I am watching as each creature makes their own lives in the glory of the Sunshine and changing leaves.

Pierogi is slowing down, wanting to sleep more and play less. Her allergies and asthma are flaring up, and I've started back with the L-Lysine in her food once a day. Her ears are constantly bothering her too.

We knocked out numerous projects before the house was put on the market! It has been listed for two weeks today, and while I said that I was manifesting it selling within two weeks of being on the market, I am always ok to be wrong. I make no claims to control time and space and outcomes, I can only control my enthusiasm and positivity. The day is not over yet, it could even sell today and be within the two weeks 😉

The before and after of the workshop side of the door we put in years ago to have access to the workshop from the inside of the house. Best decision ever!!! No more walking outside in the rain or freezing temps to go in there, but there is also still an exterior entry for those days we are dirty from working in the yard or at the land and don't want to track all of that through the house.

                                                        

And, my friends, the day I have been waiting for! I left the plastic in each window space until the drywall and painting was completely done. I have waited years for this moment to peel this stuff off, lol.

I did a vendor pop-up show last month and made some Halloween earrings for it. This was one of the pairs! 

I also signed up for a free 28-day fitness bootcamp for women over the age of 50, and that turned out to be a scam. So I turned that frustration into getting things done here around the house, eating a bit of healthy fat before I workout, and increasing my workouts. I have also had my intake with a new physical therapist who is helping me figure out if I have some connective tissue issues, which it is looking like I do! I start sessions with her next week, but had my eval a couple of weeks ago. 

In the meantime, things are moving along with the new house and I will update in future posts, but I wanted to get this one done and posted so I could feel like I could move on to the next ones now, lol. Thank you for being on this journey with us! 

The slow fade of Summer

 Where has Summer gone? Where has the YEAR gone? I have not done anything this Summer that I would have normally, and it is kind of bumming me out. I keep telling myself that there's next year, but ah, the folly of man to think that time is endless, and guaranteed. Woodchuck said that we should go do something tomorrow night when he gets home from work, but most nights we don't even get outside for a walk around the block anymore. Last night, I was so tired even I forgot about the walk. My soul really, really needs to be carefree and cageless. Not trapped in four walls, and not governed by a clock.

So I went to a Women's Circle last weekend that has been on my radar for a couple of months now. I didn't sign up until the day before, because I wanted to make sure that nothing was going to pop up to prevent me from going, and I wanted to make sure that I could follow through even if something didn't pop up. I nearly talked myself out of going! Even 15 minutes before having to leave my house, I was debating on just bailing, but I didn't want to waste the money that Woodchuck works so hard for. I have anxiety anyways about traveling, about unknown places, and this was no different but made even more intense by knowing that a previous friend of mine also frequents this group. It is not that I wouldn't be kind and civil in running across her, but I didn't want HER to feel uncomfortable or like I was invading her territory. As it turned out though, I had nothing to worry about because she wasn't there. Others in the group also interact with her, as they should! She offers many great things to people, it's just that we don't mix well. 

The group was small, which made it less overwhelming for me! Two facilitators and three of us attendees. Everyone was very kind, and of course I cried, and then another person cried, and then finally another person cried. It was held outside on a beautiful piece of property, and the weather was just perfect! I am working on getting back to daily care, even just something that takes moments. I guess with everything packed up, I see that as a barrier or obstacle. Maybe it's the monkey brain I have now with everything going?  The older I get, the harder it gets to focus. 

We sat in a circle, we each pulled a tarot card and after introducing ourselves, we read our cards aloud. It was beautiful to see how each one reflected the life moments and energies and of each of us! It was so refreshing to be reminded that I am not alone, that there are others out there that think and feel the same way, are questioning the same things, but are willing to come together in that search even if just for a couple of hours. I found myself repeatedly feeling awkward about talking and sharing, only because I felt like I was taking up too much time and taking away from the others. I am sure that is a trauma response. Once we shared and pulled our cards, we also did a bit of relaxation techniques and yoga, then a sound bath. I had dozens of little sweat bees (hoverflies) landing on me, and while I love them, the tickling while laying down with my eyes closed made it hard to let go completely. Silly little insects! But my card was the Four of Cups. Hitting on emotional stability, safety, getting my needs met, etc. in the top right corner of my card was a sideways 69, but when looking at the card upright, it looks like the Pisces fish. I am a Pisces. I also need to delve more into the numbers 4, 6, 9, and 15 (the combination of 6 and 9). Also, notice: 6 + 9= 15. 5+1=6. 5-1= 4. So fascinating!

Certain senses of mine are starting to heighten as I slowly release the stress and trauma. I was outside pulling weeds and noticed a flutter out of the corner of my eye. I recognized that flutter, and especially since I didn't see a butterfly perched on the end of the branch, I knew it was going to be a mantis. But what kind? Of course, the non-native Chinese Mantis.

I also found another cicada. This one was on its back as well, like the one I found on a hike some weeks ago. 

Woodchuck is tackling the workshop in bits and pieces. It must be so hard for him to be gone from home for nearly 12 hours and then come home and do stuff like this. Most recently, he painted the workshop ceiling, and aside from getting paint on the floor and furniture that was supposed to be covered, I think he did a great job 😂 He just has to cut in around the edges, but honestly? The color is SO close to what was up there, it's hardly noticeable if he doesn't get it done.

We managed to remember to go for a walk one evening when he got home. That seems to be the best time to get it done, though I prefer after dinner. Walk off the food, aid the digestion, get closer to the time of dusk....which is one of my favorite times of day! But any time going for a walk is better than not going at all. The cottonwoods are dropping leaves, as are other trees.

On our most recent trip to the land, I was grateful for the reduced humidity and comfortable breezes. 

I worked my way over to the wildflower patch, taking everything in as I went.

I pulled some QAL, and cut and treated some Autumn Olive, and broke out into the open prairie.

I am hoping to collect milkweed seed this year!  Normally I leave them, but these are in an area that will get completely cleared of vegetation and then likely treated with an herbicide, all done by a professional. I want to be able to save the seeds for future planting elsewhere to make up for the loss here, as well as pass some along to others who don't have any.

The thistle are super tall and blooming right now, much to the delight of the butterflies.

The Boneset exploded this year! I couldn't believe how much I could see from the otherside of the ditch!

There are SO many of these clovers this year! Originally just seen on the watershed, I am seeing them on the prairie now. Lespedeza Captitata, Roundhead bushclover. Native.

Lespedeza Virginica, slender bushclover. Native.

With Woodchucks help, we were finally able to clean up the wildflower patch! Since we didn't have enough cages and cut coffee cans to protect all of the plants from the weed whacker, we would do a section, then pull some of the cans and cages and put those over another section, weed whack, and then work that way down the line until it was done. Once I have enough cans to protect all of the plants, it won't take as long! And then once the plants are established here,  it will be easier to know where they are and work around them. The hope is to eventually transplant some of them around the house next year. 

When I was walking up to this spot, I spotted a hawk in the trees above. So I stopped and watched it for quite awhile before it flew down to the marshy area to catch lunch, and then off into the trees.

The perfect kind of day to be outside!

Once we got back home, we were still in work mode! Unfortunately, that almost came to a screeching halt when Woodchuck got his finger caught in a metal clasp on the shed and really needed stitches, but refused. He put up new trim around his woodshop door.

We got some new wood stained and hung across the bottom of the side of the shed where it's starting to rot and curl a bit. Since we don't know what the next owners will want to do with this shed, use it, fix it, start over; we figured this would be a good move for now.

               I love how the patio looks at this time of year, I just wish we could enjoy it more! 

Well. At least someone/thing is enjoying the patio and canopy! Orb Weaver

As the full moon draws closer, I look out the window every night before bed to see it.

Little by little, I am pulling weeds (again) from the garden area, and digging up the chives that we stupidly planted a couple of decades ago when we didn't know any better! It gave me a chance though to see some new fungi.

I have been better this week taking time to myself. To sit outside and listen to nature, to boost my vitamin D levels, which I already feel tanking with Summer loosening its grip, and to also let my nervous system wind down. Some days are easier than others to take these moments.

I apparently was in the territory of this tiny little jumping spider! Its home was in the big planter pot that I had my legs up on. What a cutie! They have most adorable little faces!

We managed to finally close the construction loan process with the bank this past week. Right up to the time the notary walked out of our door, there was dysfunction, unprofessionalism, and conflicting information with all parties concerned. We are hoping to find out more this coming week about the next steps. There are a lot of markets that I want to attend or vend at between now and the end of the year, but I have no idea if I am going to be in the thick of building, contractors, inspections, moving, etc. In the meantime, I am literally giddy, observing the natural world around me. What a blessing, what a miracle that life is.

I love watching squirrels, especially when they are burying/unburying the acorns. This cutie has a unique tail. Thin, fringed in white the whole way up and down the sides and tip. She stopped and took some drinks from the water dish that I leave out for birds and insects....and squirrels. I say "she", though she was a bit too far away for me to tell for sure.

Closer to the Full Moon

I am trying really hard to remember to watch where I am walking. I recently caught the anchor thread on an orb weaver web, but the builder was tucked up under the upper deck in the shade and was unharmed. I went outside the next morning and she had fixed her web to look exactly how it did before I accidentally set it loose. This other web however, has been in the same spot for a few days now. It is an orbweaver as well. I had to take the canopy top off recently and drop the frame lower, and was surprised to find that the web wasn't anchored to it! One of its anchor lines was attached to the ground on the patio and now has a leaf stuck to it and is fluttering around 😍

For my self-care time-outs, I have been using this adorable basket a friend got me! I think it was supposed to be an Easter basket, but it's too cute to not use now. So I load it up with my projects and snacks and water, and head outside. It makes me feel very free and almost child-like to lay out a sheet on the grass, light some incense, and read a book. I feel like I am having a picnic, having "play time" outside that doesn't involve the adult work that I do to care for the land. In a way, it has been very freeing and healing to my inner child.

It feels good to be able to enjoy the yard and what we work so hard on to call ours. There have been large swathes of time where I hide out inside of my home because of the people around us.

And the moon is finally full! Not only was it a full moon, but also a partial Lunar Eclipse! I had planned on stepping outside under it at bedtime, but someone was burning close by and it was too hard to breathe. So I stuck my arm out the front door, snapped some shots, and gave thanks. This was before the eclipse started, so I never got to see it.

Pierogi the cat woke me up around 4:15 a.m. the next day to remind me that I am close to missing the moon as it lit up my side of the bed. I threw up the shade and laid in the moonlight.

Even Pierogi took some time to watch, until I accidentally scared her by knocking something off of the nightstand. 🙀

I was filled with such a deep sorrow, feeling myself sliding into depression. I cried, and cried, and cried. I let myself feel the responsibility of the some revelations made, gave in to the heartbreak enough to finally let it all out. Laying there crying, I thought this was it, that I needed to overall my entire life; but I know better than to act on that when I am feeling that way. Sit with it, roll it around in my head, than take another look. I was gentle with myself all day, literally doing nothing this day but just be. I was sad to see the moon go, sad to not be able to see it turn colors as the sun rose up to greet it. I imagined the moon and sun doing a bit of a dancing bow to each other as each took their rightful place.

                                                        The sun coming up in the East

The moon disappearing in the West

I finished the wolf cross-stitch and got it ready for framing. I love a crisply ironed stitched piece! It makes me feel good to finish these kinds of things around the house instead of always doing chores.

I went ahead and set up a new project for evening work while watching t.v. I think my sister got me this kit as a gift? But I glean so much along the way that I can't remember for sure.

As we head into a new week, and a whole new month, the calendar shows things being a bit more manageable. Now that construction can start, I am sure that will change. 😂Stay tuned!!!