Doubts

 At this time of year, when so much keeps us/me from land projects, the doubts creep in. I was sure that I had made a terrible mistake in wanting to purchase this land. I had highly underestimated what it was going to take to get it back to healthy and native and that I didn't have what it takes to do it. I still feel that way. I'm still struggling with it, and the fact that I can barely devote time and energy to it, or my husband, or my home. I talked with Woodchuck about it, asked him just to hear me out, because I always want to be open and honest. I am literally begging him at this point to step in and help me in woods/fields/overgrown areas. It would be one thing if I could go into them once, maybe twice, and have them under control; but they come back with a vengeance, every single area. Once we can get it to manageable, I can take back over by myself, and I hope he realizes how important this is. 

Each time we go to the land, we check the back ditch and so far it remains water-free from the drainage pipe coming somewhere North of our land. I still worry that we might be creating an issue for us later with lack of water, but I do understand the importance of keeping whatever water is going into the ditch clean and toxin-free since it drains into the pond. So that means that the last step of filling it with quick set concrete has worked so far! Unfortunately though, our walks have been very short and fast, because the mosquitoes are out in full force. I even tried a new spray and they were still biting us through our clothing. There's no stepping foot into the back CRP without layers on and mosquito netting over your hat/head. We did see lots of toads, beetles, and a couple of weeks ago we did one last pick of blueberries and left the rest for the birds. We will do a more aggressive cutting back of the bushes around February of next year, where I also plan to cut a little further back into the dogwood to get them away from the blueberry bushes. 

On another trip out there a couple of weeks ago, the plan was to grease the tractor and then do some work outside, but the weather had other plans. We were already running a bit behind from when we like to head out....slowing down, getting tired.....and although we knew it was supposed to rain, it wasn't supposed to be until later in the day for our area. We had to stop and get gas on the way and when I saw the shelf cloud, I knew our plans were about to change! I was totally geeked out though, I want to be a storm chaser.

By the time we got to the land and tried to get a quick walk in, it was nearly right on top of us, coming from the North. This picture 👇was looking South, at the edge of it, and a large group of turkey vultures was circling to come back towards us. 

                      A couple of minutes later, it was drizzling and we had to turn back to the barn and within moments of getting to the barn, it was a downpour! We stayed inside and greased the tractor and waited for the rain to stop. We even broke out the chairs and relaxed for a bit, enjoying the thunder, lightening, and the chance to just sit and enjoy the land--which is so rare. We ended up eventually leaving without being able to do anything else there and I think that only fed my concerns about the land being too much for us with such limited schedules right now.

Our next trip out there found much better weather! Sunny and warm! For the first time ever, we pulled the car in and used the barn to get work done on her. While Woodchuck did my oil change (he didn't want my help, saying it would be faster to do it on his own), I hand-pulled weeds from the stone driveway. 

Then we walked over to the shipping container so we could move the barrels. He had them standing upright and duct taped together, which I didn't think was a great idea. The water collects on the tops (so I had thought turning them upside down would be best, but he said the bottoms weren't flat. He was wrong. I also thought the duct tape was a bad idea, it would leave a residue when removed and would only create more work to get them clean before using them in the pond. He disagreed, stating that they wouldn't do that, but if they did, he could clean it up. Turns out I was right.) So he had the idea to move them over to the pallets where we have the leftover metal sheeting from the barn. It was a perfect fit! Good idea, Woodchuck!

                     Then he had the idea to thread a branch through the pallets, like a needle.

                                                      He taped some rope on to the branch....

I stood on one side, and he stood on the other, and we "stitched" the barrels together! I also had the idea of putting the extra pallet we had on top! The groves in the bottom on the pallet, fit PERFECTLY on the barrels. I convinced him that we should move everything he had stacked against the container because the weeds were out of control....and we had an agreement when we bought the land that it was not going to look dumpy. Even his tractor implements have weeds growing up around them. I know that it's hard for us to find the time there, but when he is there mowing, some times it just takes extra moments to move things and clean up a bit better. 

Not too far from the barrels, I found these lovely turkey tails growing! I take a glycinate tincture each day and have been curious to make my own! We secured the area so that he wouldn't mow them over and I can wait for the right time to harvest them.

We walked our usual route and I found this vine wrapping around a honeysuckle. We walk this area every time we go to the land, multiple times, and this is the first time I've seen it that I can remember! Climbing Nightshade, non-native. So it will be coming out the next time we go to the land.

This pond. Such a cause of tension between us. I love it too, but honestly, it has been nothing but an issue and a money pit and it still isn't cleaned up or contained. He keeps talking about getting stone to stop the slumping on the edges, but then when I bring it up, he says no. It's these kinds of things that only feed my thoughts that we've made a huge mistake. Although I know there will be difficult things to deal with out there, I don't want any of it to come between us and I don't want to feel like crap and doomed every time I look at the pond. We are a tractor width or two away from losing all of the ground between the pond and the CRP forest. My clock seems to be ticking faster than his!

The jewelweed has started to bloom! I did not harvest any this year, there's no time to use it.

I found a milkweed on the watershed that was covered in aphids. They are quite interesting to watch! The consensus is that they don't harm the monarch population, and provide food for insects to grab instead of the monarchs and their eggs!

We will have another very large thistle on the edge of the spot where the house will be built! 

We have been kicking around a couple of ideas about the shipping container and culvert pipe.

It's been hard keeping Woodchuck on task about saving money when it concerns the land. He bought the pond chemicals, the minnows, and the tilapia without input from me. None of which have done the job that he needed them to. So, I had been doing some reading about barley straw! For a fraction of the cost, it seems to have good feedback, and can be used in various forms! Dry bales, liquid, pellets. For some of those options though, we would need to know how many gallons of water the pond holds. As usual, he ignored the information until I pestered him enough about checking into it. 

Now look, I absolutely understand that part of the pond water quality issue is that the pond is nutrient-rich. But I also absolutely understand that he has spent thousands of dollars on three different avenues to clean it up and none have worked for various reasons. He keeps relying on the information from the pond company like it's gospel, but yet, we still have a green pond. I figured what is the harm of trying something NATURAL and much more affordable than what he sprayed on it before. 

Well, he called the pond company, she said the pond is nutrient-rich and that what we need is to get that water moving right at the beginning of the season before the water meal has a chance to take over. Yet, we were told before that we needed to get the water meal under control before adding anything like that or the meal will just clog everything up. And, isn't it funny how she told him too that installation of a  fountain is discounted, etc.? 

I also brought up to him about maybe not wanting a fountain, or is there a way to adjust it? I want to still be able to hear the wildlife, or maybe even just the leaves in the wind, or maybe even just peace and quiet. He said he likes the sound of a fountain because it reminds him of a waterfall. So again, doubts, doubts, doubts.

He fell in love with a shed at Home Depot, and while I loved it too, there really is no place for it or need for it if we are keeping the shipping container. Sell the container and get the shed, or keep the container. So I had the thought to move the container to a better location if we are keeping it. He wants to use it for garden stuff, so I proposed we move it to the far border of the prairie where we had transplanted white pines to make a privacy border between the prairie and the back of the house next store that is for sale. 

We can leave the pines to hopefully grow and conceal the container a bit so whomever lives in that house won't be looking out the back at an ugly container. Woodchuck loved the idea and went to the land while I was at work and unloaded everything that was left in it. But it was too heavy for his tractor to move it and he called the company down the highway that delivered it and unfortunately, their skidster is down. So we wait on that one.

I had concerns too about how we can cover the culvert pipe to keep water in the pond during these droughts. The sheet metal keeps falling down and he can't keep going down there to put it back up, especially with how overgrown it gets at this time of year. We wanted to put something in that we can stand at the top of the ditch and pull on a rope and lift it, but I was thinking we would need some sort of pulley or lever system. He heard me out, now we just need to see what we can come up with. Stay tuned! The adventure continues.....